a moment of vulnerability

Dating is hard. Better yet, dating in NYC is hard. And my ego is slightly bruised.

There I said it.

The bruising is very superficial and on the surface; nothing serious, nothing deep, earth shattering, or life changing, but bruised nonetheless.

Maybe this dating thing is hard because I believe that, in essence, I have no idea how to date in the actual real world that is full of distractions. I always say that college dating is the fakest place to date. You meet a person and within a week you're sleeping over at each other's dorm every day, you study together, have lunch together, and basically spend every single day together without a care in the world [no? was that just my college dating experience?] It's just easy. Going to each other's home doesn't involve the subway and transfers. Nope, just walk your ass across campus.

Maybe I don't know how to date because [and before you read what I'm about to say, remember me and that I am really not a conceited person], I never really had to try very hard to get a guy. I came to the realization today that since the day I got my first kiss, at the tender age of 11 just a few weeks shy of 12, I always had a boyfriend [or an in-between someone] until my mid-20s. So for about 13 years straight, I always had someone around, in some way. Not only that, but at least in college, I always had the guy I wanted. "Hey he's cute..." would lead to somehow meeting them, followed by the first hanging out day, followed by the first kiss, and 2 weeks later we were in happy college relationship bliss.

Yeah, easy.

Enter the real world, where life tends to simply get in the way of life, and now let's try to add dating to the mix. By no way am I excusing my, or anyone's behavior for that matter. People will always figure out a way to do what they want, regardless of what they have going on, so any lack of motivation and interest is purely out of just that...lack of interest. But still, I would be lying if I didn't say that the annoyance and frustration at this no longer be as easy as it used to be being real.

Oh well. What can you do other than shrug and keep it moving right? I'm awesome and my life is awesome, so by no means is this destroying me. But I am ready and excited to meet someone just as awesome to be awesome with.  :)