11.8.08

Two years ago to the day, my uncle passed away. Instead of writing something new, I'm posting what I wrote back then on my old blog.

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Sunday, 09 November 2008

one of those calls...

 

...i received one of those today. the ones where you look at your phone and see 3 missed calls and think "i hope this is an emergency because i'm not sure why else someone would call me back to back to back"

 

yeah one of those.

 

i called my mom back as i stood in front of the granny apple section of food town, wondering which apple was pretty enough to buy.
 
i never got past that section ... never put anything in my cart.
 
my uncle passed away today. no one knows why yet. know one knew anything was wrong.
 
i hurt ... a lot. he was not only my uncle but my godfather as well. he was awesome.
 
i hurt more for my dad and my grandmother. my dad, who is flying to chile on tuesday to say goodbye to his older brother, and for my grandmother, who has to bury her son, and whom i feel still has not fully gotten over the death of my grandfather.
 

and i hurt because i hadn't seen him in years. spoken to him yes, but seen him no. the last time i went to chile was 4 years ago, and i wasn't able to see him then [he lived in the very south of chile]. and the last time i went before that, i was 13.

 
i'm 26.
 
so now enter that guilt of not having seen him in such a long time ... we spoke, but no seeing.
 
i'm going to chile next year. i made up my mind today and i don't care if the ticket is $1300, i will pay it. the last time i saw my family there was 4 years ago ...
 
fuck.
 
i've barely spoken to anyone today. i'm at my parents now.
 
tio te extrano ... te quiero ... y perdoname por no averte visto una ves mas.