.. sigh ..

today i cried at work. not teared up or choked up, but i cried. grabbed a tissue and all.

i didn't even have to open that email to know what had happened and i felt my soul come out.

in that second, none of the feelings i had been hoarding mattered anymore ... not the missing, the anger, the resentment, the disgust, the longing ... nothing.

today my heart broke for a friend whose heart was breaking itself. and despite the fact that i had fixed so many emotions before; put so many smiles on their face and made them shed tears of laughter ... today i struggled to try to "fix" it, knowing that nothing in the entire world would ever undo what has been done.

i know i said it already, but i am so incredibly sorry.


"Our death is not an end if we can live on in our children and the younger generation. For they are us, our bodies are only wilted leaves on the tree of life." ~Albert Einstein